Mixed Signals
Shaz FM: Castles in the Sky (DDR)
Feeling: Fine yet confused

Hows it going? Happy Chinese New Year to you guys who celebrate it! Hope you guys have a good one and get lots of ang pow ^_^. I'm at Bec's house, sleeping over for the weekend cause my guardian insisted on me doing my own thing because she thought I would get bored following them to visit their relatives. I think I would have been especially since most of them speak no or very little English. Ah well, I'm having fun here.

Yesterday I went out with Bec,Jane and Meisya around Orchard. We went out for lunch at N.Y.D.C then after that we went for karaoke. Lol it was the best ever. At the end of the day,I had no voice but I sang the proper way so it eventually subsided. There was supposedly very loud fireworks on last night but I didnt hear anything prolly cause I was so tired! I didnt get much sleep the night before. Was thinking about so many things. Parents and Dina leaving for Tokyo that morning, all the things that happened Oliver (will get to that soon) and with Chris. *sigh*

I guess you would say that I don't know what I want. Its funny how you think you want something,then when you get it you realise that it wasnt really how you thought it would be. Why is love so confusing? Why can't it just be simple and it doesnt cause much problems? When my friends tell me about their relationship woes, I'm thinking to myself, "Wow,what have you gotten yourself into?" or how one issue can join with other problems so you just have one big disaster. Not saying that all my friends go through with this, cause I'm finding that there are a few great couples. XD It's funny how sometimes my friends listen to my advice when I haven't had any experience of being in a relationship or being someone's girlfriend. There were some instances when I nearly did but I felt like it didnt count because we found that we couldnt go further because of other problems happening in our lives, other people interferring or just because of distance.

Alright, I think I have to start from the beginning for you to understand this. I apologise in advance for not letting you know,Rae..I knew I let you down the last time I did it (that was cause I didnt know how you felt about it) but this time,its because I'm more confused then ever. In AISS,I've got this friend named Oliver. We got to know each other when I hung out with Anthony cause there were in the same group. After that weird episode with Anna,I didnt talk to those guys much until term 4. In this school,its not uncommon for girls and guys to go out one on one and not become an item. With the last time that I did this, I told myself not to think that someone likes me cause I am like always wrong..but this time I wasnt..I went out with Oliver to watch a movie as friends..last friday,despite the funny interference of one Luke Vink (who apologised to me yesterday about it), he asked me out,and this time it's completely different. Like Rebecca Shelley said, this is a trial. I said that we'd give it a shot and see how it goes.

If that wasnt nerve wrecking and confusing much, I've got another issue at hand. This one is somewhat more important then Oliver but I cant solve the whole problem without going through him first so I'll have to take it slow. You know when you leave something out in the open for too long and when you want to talk about it again, you find that you dont know what of the issue you can talk about cause time changes views and people? This has been going on for 3 years. We do nothing bout the issue but when something comes up, it just goes back to the start and I'm left wondering what the hell just happened and why does it feel so weird? *sigh* I want to clear this all up,get everything out in the open so we know where we stand.

Last year,I had so much problems that I got sick of it all. With Rae,Chris,Lang..it's like one whole revolution that won't stop going around. It's funny how I can easily get myself out of it but I don't because they're my friends. With Rae,we've had one bumpy ride since day one but I still hold on because in the end,she's still one of my best friends. Excuse me for giving you such a long entry but I've just got so much going on in my head,its no suprise that I'm not getting enough sleep. *sigh* That's it for now,I feel like I need to clear my head. Have a good CNY. L8er xxx

I wished upon the stars at
12:32 pm